Letting go of someone is always a challenge after experiencing a breakup. There is no easy solution to forget about how someone hurt you and forget all the memories you had created together. But it is something that is important to do in order to give a new person the opportunity to connect with you.
A few of my friends have told me about some new guys that have entered their lives. They get along great with them, find the conversations easy to have, and find themselves wanting to spend more time with them. The only thing holding them back is a reminder of something that happened in a previous relationship, something from that person’s past, or a negative connection to their past.
Mindfulness is all about stripping away our concerns with the past and future to focus on the present. Moving away from our own past is as important as moving away from someone else’s past. It puts them in a fair light to help you decide whether that person is truly for you or not. You see the person for who they are now, not for what they were, nor what they could potentially be. Eliminating your concerns about whether something in the past is going to happen again will help put you at ease when interacting with the new person.
There is far too much confusion in our world with us worrying about whether something will happen again or how the past will interact with your current situation. It stops any potential relationship from happening before you even allow yourself the opportunity to experience that person. So much of online dating is searching for that perfect fit: everything may look great to you until that one red flag pops up and ruins the dream. You swipe left before even thinking about whether you could adjust your thoughts and enjoy that person.
If we let go of our past selves, and others’ pasts, we will discover how much more we have in common with the people around us and bridge any gaps we may have. We will create better relationships and not find ourselves quite so lonely in the world, scared to interact with anyone that lives outside of our comfort zone.
Allowing ourselves to explore beyond the perfect situation will open our eyes to new people and opportunities. Connecting with those new people will teach us more about ourselves than any self-help book ever will. It all begins with letting go of our pasts and seeing the people of the world for what they really are: a wonderful, beautiful mix of experiences and personalities.