There is one thing in my life that frequently embarrasses, or would embarrass me if I ever were to admit it to anyone I know.
I love young, conservative women.
Even more accurate is that I love young, conservative business-women.
Why is that embarrassing? Because I’m a left-leaning, socialist-anarchist, pro-choice, pro-gay, believe in the separation of church and state, and pretty much every other stereotype out there (except I don’t smoke marijuana or drink wine). You would think I’d be attracted to a similar type of woman in hopes of creating my own hippy commune or living an environment-friendly way of life. I thought so too, but maybe instead of looking for someone I can have a peaceful and relaxing relationship with, I should look for someone that won’t immediately please my grandmother, my parents, and my mom’s side of the family. I need to look for someone for me, not them, as much as I respect their wishes and dreams for me.
What’s worse than admitting the above is that there’s a show on television that supplies me with ample conservative pornography (for a lack of a better word): The Apprentice. Not Martha’s, but Trump’s. I don’t really enjoy the set-up of the show (assigning the teams creative tasks when they’re designed to be reasonable and practical leaders) or some of the characters on it (bringing back a former Apprentice to watch over the teams? Lame), but I do have a fondness for some of the women on the show. I won’t really get into it until beyond the halfway point when all the fluff is gone, and I get a better idea of who are the stronger women in the competition. I won’t get into how attractive Rebecca or Carolyn are to me, but I will try to get at -why- these women are so appealing to me.
At first, I worried that I was having gay tendencies. I love the business suits on women, I like them being a bit firm, confident, strong in character- everything that women find attractive in a guy. But I got rid of that fear quickly when I realized that it was the combination of those qualities with the feminine body that I enjoyed. I don’t want a strong butch woman, I want a strong feminine woman.
Business women lead a life that’s very foreign to everything I’ve grown up with. None of my immediate family members have worked in corporations or ran a business. The exception is one cousin who with his wife run a small organic farm, and my uncle who’s opening up a used record store. But I have no connection to people with a MBA or fly around the world on business deals. All my relatives work for institutions (schools, Universities/colleges, hospitals, nursing homes, etc). These women are so very exotic to me and are a real temptation to my curious mind. I want to know more about their lives, about business, about the corporations, etc. It’s a very tantalizing thing to experience.
When I say conservative, I’m not saying I’m attracted to women who just give in to me without a fight, I’m referring to conservative values. I want a woman who’s passionate about her beliefs, will debate and argue about them, and stand up for herself. I’m passionate about my beliefs, so I feel like I need that conflict to keep things going. Maybe I’ll learn something, maybe she will, maybe we’ll both change. Regardless of what the outcome of those discussions is, we’ll both enjoy feeling that fiery passion burning inside of us.
I’ve talked with several women who had similar political beliefs that I do, and the discussions are just not the same as they are with conservative/right women. The talks end up being rants on Bush, on the Christian right, etc. We drive those issues into the ground, but by the time you finish having those talks, the only passion you have is to go kick something in the butt and go assassinate George Bush. It gets boring after a while, unfortunately, as nice and attractive those women happen to be.
Conversations with the conservative types tend to build and build until there’s a climax reached where to go any further is going to destroy the friendship. When you hit that peak, you can look back at the rest of the conversation and let out a sigh of happiness, of actually achieving something with your talk. You showed off your better points, she gave you hers, and now it’s time to reflect on what they said and go from there. You don’t have the same feelings of wanting to kill Bush, but want to sit back and think. I’ve almost always reached a zen-like state afterwards, when I can just focus on myself and improve my outlook on life.
I wish I had more conservative friends to engage in, though. They’re such a rare breed in my life, but maybe that’s a good thing. I’ll appreciate them more when I do cross paths with them, even if I don’t really like anything they stand for.